Alexander's Mind: Part 2
by psy999merda
Summary: Sequel to "Alexander's Mind", taking place a few weeks where we left off. This will also be much shorter than part 1.
1. Chapter 1

"JJ, you have to go home. You need to eat and rest. Also, you need a shower."

"I can't leave him," JJ protests. She looks like hell. She has for the past weeks been living in Alex's hospital room since he got out of his surgery. With little peaceful rest and not much to eat or drink, and only have showered once while they waited for the 16 hour surgery to finish, JJ has gotten dark circles, pale skin and an exhausted expression permanently.

"I'll sit with him," Emily offers.

"No, you have your family, and I bet they're waiting for you. Go home, Emily."

"I don't care, JJ. I'm your friend and I'm asking you to go home for a couple of hours. You need to take care of yourself. Alex will get real pissed off when he hears about this, you know that. So please, go home. I'll sit here with him until you get back. And Spencer and Penelope are here too. Pen will take your home."

JJ reluctantly gives in and stands up.

"Call me if anything changes," she says to Emily.

"I will," Emily promises. "Good night, JJ."

As on cue, Penelope comes in with a uncertain smile. The female agents weren't in any heated arguing so she took that as JJ's ready to go home.

"You ready?" she asks JJ who nods and smiles tiredly.

"Yeah. Thanks, Pen. I really appreciate this."

"Oh. Nonsense. Of course I take care of my godson and his mother. You all are my favourite people. Now, let's get you home and fed."

Emily stays behind and Spencer walks in.

"How's he doing?" he asks, looking at all the machines, making calculations as Emily answers:

"He's coming out of the worst now. The doctor says he'll be waking up within this week or maybe the next. He's injuries are healing well, but she doesn't know for sure about his brain."

"Sometimes doctors put people into come, opening a chance for the brain to heal itself. I doubt Alex will be very clear on anything when he wakes up, and he'll soon ask for more painkillers, also he'll be sleeping a lot first, just natural."

"How are his chances, Spencer?"

Spencer frowns. Emily gives him a minute to make all his inner calculations. He even reads Alex's patient charge.

"Well, he'll wake up for sure. But, as the doctor said, how his brain will function is almost impossible to say. It might not have any impact at all, or he may be experiencing amnesia or worse. His brain swelled up twice, you know, and he lost oxygen."

"Did JJ tell you Alex coded in the ambulance?"

"Yes, she did." Spencer looks sad. He sighs and looks away, as if it's too painful seeing Alex lying in the bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines that keeps him alive.

"I can't imagine how he'll react when he hears about Mabel," Emily mumbles.

"Me neither."

Then Spencer adds: "I hope he wakes up soon. I miss him."

/

"He's waking up!"

JJ, Emily, Derek, Spencer and Penelope jolts up from their seats. Aaron and David are in for questioning. They're the last ones to be judged by Strauss. Penelope hastily sends a text to the three of them, telling them Alex's waking up.

A nurse removes a needle and the oxygen mask from Alex. He's hand is stirring and he moves slowly around before opening his eyes. JJ takes his hand, carefully to not to hurt his hand. Three fingers are still broken.

"Hey, honey. I'm here."

"Where am I?" His voice is gruff and hoarse. He coughs and winces in pain.

"Careful, careful," JJ insists. "You're in the hospital, but you'll be fine."

But that doesn't help. Alex grows confused and he tries to get out of the bed.

"No, Alex, you have to stay in bed! You're injured, honey, and you've had surgery and need to lie down."

"Who are you guys?" Alex shouts. He's panicking.

 _He doesn't know who I am!_

JJ feels hurt and she looks around, seeing the same shocked and hurt expression she feels herself. The doctor steps in and signalises to the nurse an order.

"Mr Jareau, I'm Doctor Wallace. You need to listen to me. First, get back to bed. Second, stay still. We need to check your reflexes."

"Stay away from me. Who are you all?"

"Alex! You're hurt! Please, go back to bed," Penelope shouts, but the nurse stops her from coming any closer as Alex fights his mom's grip and jumps out of the bed. His body collapses on the floor as he screams without a sound.

"Grab him! Nurse, hit the button! Everyone else, get out of here, now!" Derek and Doctor Wallace carefully lift Alex back into bed as two nurses stride in with a supplement cart, and the first nurse pushes the BAU team of the room, shutting the door and closing the blinds.

JJ starts pacing, worrying her neck off. Penelope hurries after and tries to console her. Emily and Spencer and Derek stay behind.

"Does Alex have amnesia?" Derek asks, looking at Spencer for answer.

"Most certainly, yes," Spencer says and grimaces. He'd hoped this wouldn't happen. Now they don't know if this is permanently or not. And if it is, how big of amnesia is it?

"Spencer, what will happen now?" JJ's back, demanding answers.

"I… I can't tell for sure, JJ. But he seems to suffer from amnesia, though I can't tell how strong it is. Also…he might have some inner damages and that the body shut down right now because of the pain and adrenaline. He got frightened when he didn't recognise any us and he saw our guns. I think that next time we go in there, we'll have to hide them."

Ten minutes later the nurses and Doctor Wallace are leaving Alex's room. Doctor Wallace moves towards JJ and the others.

"How is he?"

"Does he have amnesia?"

"What's wrong with him?"

"Is he going to be okay?"

All of them fire off questions at the same time.

"Please, one at the time," Dr Wallace asks. "Ms Jareau, your son does have a mild form for amnesia, though I don't know if it's permanently yet. It might as well just be due to the swelling of his brain. I'll give him a few days, three days at the most, before I'll make any decisions. His body couldn't handle all the stress, and the adrenaline kept him from experiencing more pain, but the damage was already done and that's why he collapsed. But he'll be just fine. There are no signs of inner bleeding or other damages, his surgery wounds are healing as well as the other broken bones. I've given him some sedative to help him calm down and make him sleep. I want his brain to relax. Next time you go in there, only two at the time, and maybe you should all consider hiding the guns. Seeing he doesn't remember any of you, I doubt a gun would make him any less stressed. I'll give you and update later tonight."

"Thank you, Doc," Derek says for JJ and the rest of the team.

Doctor Wallace only nods once and then he leaves them. JJ inhales a sudden sharp breathe before entering Alex's room again, shaking as she walks. Emily runs after her friend, but before she goes, she gives her gun to Derek.

"Hotch and Rossi are on their way," Penelope says to Derek. "They should know this too.

"I agree," Derek says back.

She and Derek and Spencer go back to the waiting room and sit down, waiting for JJ, Emily, Hotch and Rossi.

"Oh, I hate this!" Penelope exclaims, throwing her arms in the air. "My godson's in there and he doesn't know who his mom is, or me. And he's hurt. And poor JJ! She doesn't know what to do, or how to help Alex."

"I know, sweat pea, but right now we gotta focus on Alex. I know he'll fight through this and JJ will be there for him. He's a trooper, you know. Soon he'll be okay."

"I hope you're right."

Spencer hasn't said a word and he doesn't seem to know what to say. Though none of the BAU team members are especially fond of hospitals, there are few people than Emily and Spencer that dislike hospitals. Emily actually hates it. Spencer doesn't like it because it reminds him of that his mom's in an institution and he sent her there. He still feels somewhat guilty.

Hotch and Rossi arrive after fifteen minutes, asking for an update. Penelope and Derek give them a short summary. Since they managed to rescue Alex and Mabel, catch LaMontagne and his fellows, Hotch has given JJ time off and the team hasn't been gone for any case, seeing they're all under careful eyes of the board and Strauss. She's not happy with the BAU dropping the original case and hopping on the jet back to Virginia, though she understands the reasons for it. She also admitted that the search and rescue were well done, she's still furious. And the board has to make up their minds: what will the teams punishment be and will Aaron Hotchner come back as Unit Chief?

/

Alex wakes up around noon the next day. JJ's inside, dozing off. She wakes up too and calls for a nurse. Still she doesn't know how Alex's brain is. Will he still have amnesia?

"Hey there," she greets him softly. Confusion spreads in his face. _You still don't remember anything then_.

"Hi," he answers meekly. "I'm not… Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. You got…hurt. Do you remember anything?"

"Not much. I'm sorry, but who are you? I don't recall to have seen you before."

Strangling a sob, JJ presses a smile. She doesn't want to upset Alex.

"It's okay. You're healing and you need to rest. I'm Jennifer. I'm your mother."

"Oh… I kind of figured seeing you're here alone now. But I don't know you."

"You just don't remember. But that will change."

 _Hopefully!_

"Alexander, good to see you awake. I'm Dr Wallace. Do you know where you are?"

"In a hospital."

"What date is it?"

"Don't know."

"What's your name?"

"Alexander. But I know that because you just said it."

"I see. Do you know who this is?" Dr Wallace points at JJ.

"She said she's my mother, but I don't remember."

"Okay. That's okay. Now, I want to do some tests before I'll let you rest. Are you feeling any pain?"

"A little. In my head. And hand. And my left side. And I feel sore everywhere."

"That's normal. Now, don't blink now." He finds a small flashlight and checks his pupils, then he listens to Alex's heart and lungs, checking his pulse and looks at his reflexes with a small hammer. Writing something in the hospital charge, he tells JJ: "He's doing better now, but I'm still concerned about his brain. We will take him to a CT and MRI scan. I think that will give us a clearer image on his brain's development."

"When will we know if this amnesia is a permanent thing or not?" JJ hurries to ask. The doctor shrugs.

"Maybe another day or so. I'll keep you posted, Ms Jareau." And then he leaves JJ to Alex. There's an awkward silence and none of them manage to look the other one in the eyes. After a few moments, both Penelope and Emily walk in together.

"Hey there, Alex," Emily greets with a relieved smile. She's glad to see Alex awake. He looks a bit better now.

"Hi," he replies, trying not to show his confusion. He can't remember to know any of the women, but obviously they both know him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot," Emily apologizes. "I'm Emily Prentiss, a friend of JJ and you, and you're actually the godfather of my twins."

"Godfather?" he repeats.

 _I am? Oh, that was unexpected. How well do they all know me?_

"Yeah. They're defiantly your biggest fans. JJ, coffee?" Emily hands out a cup of coffee to the blonde woman.

"Thanks."

"Well, I couldn't show up here empty handed either," Penelope says and pulls out a bag from behind her back. "Would you do the honour?"

Alex smiles slightly and accepts the bag. He opens it and sees a box full of cookies, two books and a picture frame. JJ sits quiet and watches as her son take out one item at once, feeling its weight. She can see the small smile widens. That, more than everything, makes her feel relaxed and content. A wave of love for Penelope hits her. Penelope always knows what she needs to do and she does it well. Right now, bringing small gifts, like she always does, was the right move.

"When you were younger, you and I always baked cookies together. But you didn't want with only chocolate chip, so we always added something more in them. These are for you, and they're dipped with chocolate, they have some toppings and they're also filled with different goodies. But I won't say more. It's up to you to explore those delicious treats."

"Wow…Thanks. Thank you very much!"

"Oh, nonsense!" But Penelope blushes lightly. "And this is some books I think you will like. The movies are coming out soon too, so if you like the books, give me a call and I'll have the tickets ready."

Alex doesn't know what to say to that. That woman is so full of life, so bubbly and kind. But most of all, she seems to know how to behave herself. At least she isn't constantly sending him worried side glances or mouths words to his mom.

Emily, Penelope and JJ stay for another hour. They don't talk too much to Alex directly, but try to steer the conversation over to light and casual subjects. Alex doesn't want to tell them he's tired, but seeing they are profilers and Penelope works within the BAU, they all get the hint and leave. Even JJ leaves, but only for a couple of minutes.

"You don't have to be here all day," he tells her.

Her eyes widen.

"If you're busy, I mean," Alex hurries to add.

"I'm not busy," she says, shaking her head. "I'm here because you are my son. And I want to be here."

 _How can I be your son when I don't know who I am? Or you._

"It doesn't matter to me if you can't remember anything now, because first you have to get better before we can think about anything else," she continues, as if she just read his mind.

"Okay," he says slowly. He sighs and sinks back, feeling tired.

"You can sleep," JJ says softly, "I'll be here when you wake up. If you want me to."

Alex forces himself to open his eyes. JJ's insecurities make him feel bad. He didn't mean to make her feel as she's bothering him. But she makes him a bit uncomfortable. She's so worried because she cares about him because he's her son. But she can't understand him. He doesn't know anything or anyone. Especially her. But that doesn't mean he can't try to get to know everyone again.

Before falling to sleep, he manages to whisper out: "I'd like that."


	2. Chapter 2

JJ sneaks out of Alex's room. Outside in the hallway she finds an open store where she gets herself a turkey sandwich, coke and Cheetos. She eats her late lunch alone. No one from the BAU is at the hospital right now. They're all working, but she got  
/a half paid leave as long as Alex needs her. Right now that time expands with several months more than any of them expected. She hasn't been home the last month, only to shower, sleep, eat and unpack and pack and to feed their cat. Someone have been  
/trying desperately to contact her and Alex, but they're journalist and even though it's been a month since the whole kidnapping, it's still hot news and if they hear about him wakingup, but not remember anything… Well, it'll make her apartment  
a

target for journalists for days.

Sitting back, JJ slowly dozes off as she re-lives the most horrible day of her life.

* * *

 _"They've heard shots. Several. JJ, they don't know who's shot or who's shooting."_

 _"What? No, no, it can't be him. Emily, we need to get people in there now. What are we waiting for?" JJ's hysteria and panic have reached a new top and she jumps to her feet._

 _"The team's mapping out every exit. And Garcia's doing her part: hacking into their phones and the surveillance cameras and laptop. Then we get an inside eye."_

 _"I don't care if we're blind! I know what's going on, I know the guys in there have my son and his girlfriend! And someone's shooting up the whole place. If you don't get in, I'll go in alone."_

 _"JJ, NO!" Emily runs after her friend, grabbing her shoulder and drags her back to the van where they're waiting for new orders. "JJ, please, listen. It doesn't do anyone any good of you go in there alone and get hurt. How do you think Alex will feel if you die or get shot?"  
"I DON'T CARE! Maybe he won't be able to feel anything if we're just staying here all day. Let me go, Emily."_

 _"I can't." And then she whistles and an officer in fully body armour and equipped with a rifle looks up. "I need you stay guard here. Don't let her out of your sight while I'm gone. If I see her inside of that building, I'll have your shield before dawn. Got it?"_

 _The officer nods and takes stand close to JJ. She's fuming, but Emily can't let her friend go inside and ignores the angry looks she gets from her. Instead she heads to the rest of the team and other FBI agents. They're getting ready as soon as every search team give them a green light, and Garcia needs to map out the place in 3D, also Reid wants to calculate their chances._

 _"How's JJ?" Hotch asks when he sees Emily coming. She only shakes her head._

 _"We need to go in now," Morgan spits out between gritted teeth. He's just as worried as JJ. They all are._

 _"Alpha team, this is Delta, we're ready. Over."_

 _The sparkling comes from Hothc's radio. He picks it up, presses a button and speaks to it._

 _"Roger. Bravo and Charlie, what is your status? Over."_

 _"This is team Bravo, we're just clearing out the south side. Two cars are parked here. Fifty seconds top. Over."_

 _"Charlie to Alpha team: we are ready to go. Over."_

 _Suddenly another series of shots can be heard from the inside of the building._

 _"Everyone, go, go, go!"Hotch yells in the radio and he and the BAU team take off, accompanied by the four other FBI agents. Reid and Morgan take the door as the team stands by, holding up their guns. The team run in, flashing flashlights around and cover each other as they move further in the dark building. Hotch and Morgan pair up and lead each group of agents through a hallway._

 _"FBI, don't move! You're under arrest!" Rossi cocks his gun at the perp's head as two agents wrestle him on the ground. "Prentiss, there are at least two more. See if you can find them."  
Emily takes off. She goes left and signalizes to Reid to follow her._

 _"The door," she mouths to him. He nods, creeps forward and kicks it in. He and Emily do lower their arm until they clear the whole room. It's dark. Only a single light bolbehangs from the roof._

 _"Mabel!"  
Emily hurries over to the girl._

 _"Reid, give me a hand."_

 _She takes the girl's pulse and swears._

 _"Call it in," she says defeated to her partner. Reid, with sorrow written in his face, clears his throat and finds his walkie-talkie._

 _"This is Agent Reid, we need a medics right away. We found the girl."_

* * *

Penelope has gathered them all to come at the exact same time. She wants them to all receive the news – either they're good or bad.

"Oh, there he comes."

The same doctor that has treated Alex for the last few weeks comes up to them. He looks quizzically at the whole bunch, but gives them a polite smile.

"What can I do for you all?"

"Doctor Wallace, I'm the BAUs unit chief SSA Aaron Hotchner. We'd like to get an update, the very same as Jennifer Jereau got."

Dr Wallace's face turns into a grimace. "He's…better. But he hasn't woken up yet. I assume you're referring to the amnesia?" They all nod. "Well," the doctor inhales some air, "then I'm happy to say that I'll bet my next pay check that he's going to be  
/okay. The swelling on his brain has faded completely, he's no suffering from other injuries that we don't know of and those we know of are all under control. He's healing well and that faster than anyone else I've seen during my last eight years as  
/a doctor."

* * *

"Mom?"

JJ reacts immediately. She jumps up, smiling broadly.

 _He remembers!_ Her heart skips a beat and the pulse rise while she pushes a button to page the nurses and Doctor Wallace.

"Hey, honey. How are you feeling? Do you know where you are?"

"Yeah…I'm in a hospital obviously, but I don't know which. And I'm…sore, got a headache from hell too. Are you okay?"

"Me? Yes, I'm fine. I'm more than fine now when you're awake and remember."

"Remember what?" Alex asks. He can only whisper. "Can I get something to drink? My throat is killing me."

"Of course. Do you want water or juice?" She reaches over to fill a cup.

"Water, please. Where's everyone? I am the only one who got hurt?"

"Honey, I'll explain everything after the doctor's been here. He needs to check you out, and then he'll talk to you and then we two will talk."

Alex accepts the water and while he drinks, each of the BAU team enters the room. They're smiling and look more than relieved when Alex smiles back; he remembers them and they know it. A nurse and Doctor Wallace follow right behind them.

"Good to you see you awake, man," Derek says, fist bumping Alex.

"I'm was really worried, you know," Emily laughs. "And so were Hillary and Henry. They can't wait to see you again."

"Understandable. I'm the best and only godfather they have, and I'm doing a damn good job with keeping them alive when you're too busywith your man." Alex gives her a wicked grin and the whole room explodes in laughter. Even Emily laughs more.

"Okay, everyone, you have _no idea_ how glad I am to hear you talk like that." Penelope bubbles, and she smiles like a child on Christmas.

"Yeah, you had us all worried," Rossi chime in.

"Sorry, guys. If I knew you'd all go ballistic whenever I got hospitalized, I'd never step a foot outside of my room."

Doctor Wallace and the nurse move forward through the crows of FBI people.

"Alexander, hi, I'm Doctor Wallace. This is your nurse, Leanna. We have to run a few checks on you, but first I have to ask: do you remember everything? Do you remember what happened to you and why you're here?"

The whole room becomes quiet, and the mood changes so fast as if someone flipped a switch.

"Uh… I know why I'm here. I got hurt, and I know who did it." Alex turns to look at his mom and his brows knit together. "My…father did it to me. And some others. They took me and… MABEL! Where's she? Is she okay? Why…"

But the doctor cuts him off.

"Okay, okay. Don't press yourself too hard. So you remember, and that's good. You woke up a couple of days ago and you suffered from a serious, but short amnesia due to a swelling on your brain. But apparently it seems like that isn't the case anymore,  
/which is good. I have to ask everyone to leave the room as we continue with the procedure. That means your mom, too," he adds and cast a glance at the blonde woman.

"Fine." JJ stands up.

"Okay, everyone out," Hotch orders quietly. The room empties, not counting the medical staff.

JJ sees the nurse pull down the blinders. Now they can't see what's going on anymore. She feels a hand on her shoulder and knows immediately it's Emily's hand.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah…" she breathes. "Actually I think I am. Now I'm just so happy he's himself and remembers. But at the same time… He'll never forget this. And what about Mabel? How do I tell him? He's going to suffer even more."

"Mentally, yes, he will struggle," Emily says, "he'll have flashback and trouble with sleeping, lack of appetite. But that's normal, JJ, you know that. Worst case in scenario: he'll be diagnosed with PTSD after this."

"I hate him for this. I'll always hate him."

They both know JJ means William.

"We understand."

The two of them walk back to the chairs in the hall where the receptionist sits. None of them sits, though, and they all turn to see if JJ's going to have a breakdown or not.

"I'm fine, guys. Really, I'm just so relieved he remembers. Thank you, everyone, for everything. You've been very kind and supportive, all of you." She tries to give them a big smile, but only manages a small one.

"If you need anything," Hotch speaks up, "you know you only need to ask and we'll help."

"Thank you."

The silence makes the next fifteen minutes almost unbearable. Then Reid asks the question they all want to ask.

"What do should we tell Alex when he asks about Mabel?"

"I think I have to tell him."

"Of course, JJ, that's for the best," Rossi nods. "But be careful with how you say it. I know you're an ex-liaison and know how to talk to people under such circumstances, but this is your son. Don't tell him that it wasn't something he could've done  
/because he'll think that's a lie and will constantly blame himself. Even more than he's going to do."

"He's going to be… He'll blame himself. And hate me," JJ whispers, her voice is small. She looks crushed. Heartbroken.

"Alex won't hate you, JJ," Penelope insists. She steers her friend down on one of the chair and claims the one next to it. "And we'll be here, all of us, you know, to help and support you. I know some very good therapists that I know will help him if  
/he wants to go. And you. You too have been through something traumatic."

"At least I'm not shot," JJ says ironically.

"No, but that doesn't mean this past few weeks has been extremely tough for you. They've been your worst, I imagine, and that's understandable. This would take a toll on anyone. Don't be ashamed of asking for help."

"I'm not," JJ says fast, "but I'm not going to feel sorry for myself now when my son's in there, having bullet holes in his body and not knowing that this might be his second worst day."

* * *

Can anyone guess what's going on? :)

Next chapter will be up within this week.


	3. Chapter 3

The house was empty. There wasn't a car nor a bike parked outside of the house. And the people who used to live there were gone too. Alex stares up at the house, looking longingly at the window to the left. The room belongs – or belonged – to Mabel. He can't look away. Tears are streaming down his face, but he doesn't wipe one single tear. He just lets them flow as his feels pieces of his heart break into millions of pieces, cutting him from the inside and out, making it hard to breathe or to even think clearly. March 24th will forever be his worst day, even though he doesn't remember much of that day. March 24th was the day when 16 year old Mabel Hastings, his girlfriend, died. She died in the factory building due to internal damage: she had a collapsed lung and a small brain bleeding that caused the death. The medic that took care of her later assumed she died as she slept, unconscious and unable to wake up because her brain was dying. At least, at the very end though, Mabel didn't feel pain when she felt into the arms of whichever God she believed in. Alex knows Mabel's family where Christian, but if they practiced the religion a lot or not he didn't know. He walks slowly around the house. It's for sale and has been for the last two months. But this is the first time he has come here. He wants to see it all for himself. He needs to know that they're all gone and won't come back. Especially Mabel. Especially her.

* * *

Fifth row at the left, second line, the sixth stone. There it was. Her tombstone. It was simple, not big, not shiny and not too white or black. It was a mixture of grey and dark grey. Flowers, candle lights and a few stuffed animals were propped up against and on the tombstone. None of them were from him.

This is his first time to come here too. Alex couldn't leave the hospital right away, but had to wait almost a month and then he was sent home, only to come back once a week for check-up. Also he needed physical therapy and he had to exercise with the therapist twice a week for the next three months. This was his first time out alone in almost two months. All the doctors had forbidden him to drive. Actually he'd spent his last weeks tied to the bed, inside all day, walking from one room to another, eating, sleeping, doing his exercises he got from his physical therapist, and also going to the hospital. That was his life and it still is, though now he's better and can drive. Now he's free from his mother's constant stream of questions and worried looks, or Emily's kids whenever they come to visit and he hears: "Now, remember: Alex's still not feeling well. Play nice, okay?" whenever Emily drops them off. He just can't keep up with it all. It's too much. They're all pushing him, though silently and probably unintentionally, but still.

With much effort, Alex sits down in front of the tombstone. He lets two fingers trace the engraved letters forming words; birth and death date followed by an epitaph.

 _Mabel Hastings (August 8th 1994 – March 24th 2012)_

 _Modest and gentle of heart, our beloved daughter, sister, grandchild and friend fought to her last breath. You are to be membered with love._

 _"What we keep in our memory is unchanged forever."_

Alex doesn't recognize the quote, but he thinks it's beautiful anyways. He wraps his arms around his legs, placing his head on top of his knees. His breathing is irregular. Feelings his heart start to pump harder and faster, he bites his teeth together so hard it hurts and he starts rocking. He can't lose it right now. But it hurts. It hurts so much. Everywhere. Not only his body…but inside of him too! _She's gone. She's gone! She…is…gone!_ He can't help think it over and over again. The words eat him slowly, taking bits of him and chew slowly. As the tears flow freely, he opens his mouth and tries to breathe normally. He fails and ragged breathes escape from his throat. His newly healed brain is flashing images. He can't see clearly and sometimes his view changes from looking at the tombstone and looking at whatever his brain comes up with. Him and Mabel. Or just Mabel. He can smell her, and even hear her talking or laughing!

 _You're going nuts! She's not here._

 _I know. I know she's dead! And it's because of me. Stop it, just…STOP IT!_

But the images keep flashing through his mind, and now he can hear. Rocking faster he closes his eyes, bowing his head. The destroyed pieces of his heart splinter him. They're like knifes and they cut him. But for each cut, his body heals it and then a new cut comes. It's a circle. A painful one, that is. And he shakes too. He shakes like he's freezing, but it's not cold outside now in the end of April. The weather is in fact nice: it's sunny, but not too hot, and there a few cloud that sometimes cover up the heating sun. But Alex still shakes. And he cries. He just cries and cries as more memories are flashing through his mind. And for each memory he sees, he feels more and more guilty. He hates himself. And he hates his father. And he really dislikes his mother's choice of actions when it came to his father, but he can't hate her. It wasn't her fault, and she tried to help. She and the rest of the BAU team manged to arrive just in time before he was executed. But that doesn't matter when Mabel's still dead. And he was the one responsible, he was the one his father wanted. She was just so damn unlucky, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, which was with him that day. And she fought bravely and he couldn't help her. He just had to cooperate and pray that his father and his two accomplices wouldn't hurt Mabel when he did as they said. Still he has nightmares about seeing Mabel getting hit and kicked, getting touched and both physically and mentally abused every night when he had to watch and couldn't sleep. Still he can hear her screams. He hears her swearing and threatening the perps, he hears her screaming his name, yelling on her parents. He sees her fighting back, but she always lost. And he lost too. He, as the target, as the one who should've protected and helped and saved her… He lost, resulting in her death.

* * *

"Alex, where are you? Call me when you get this."

"Alex, I'm not kidding. Just call me, please. I need to know where you are."

Alex sighs. He squeezes his phone in frustration. This is the last thing he needs now: having his mom worried sick only because last time he didn't answer within seven hours, he was kidnapped and tortured and he almost died. Actually he did die: in the ambulance his heart said flat out that enough was enough after they gave him oxygen and placed him on a stretcher. But the medics managed to resuscitate him while they drove insanely fast, according to Emily and his mom who went with the ambulance. And then they almost lost him again under his first major surgery, but they managed to give him a shock with the defibrillator.

Not bothering to call his mom back, he instead sends her a text message where he shortly explains everything.

 _Been at her house. I'm walking from the graveyard now. Coming home soon._

\- _Alex_

Her respond comes quickly.

 _You need to tell me before you leave the house. We will talk later when you come home_

\- _JJ_

 _Yeah, right! Like why the hell are you so on me now? I'm doing better, I'm alive, the "enemy's" dead and I'm also soon turning seventeen. I got the right to leave the house when I've been inside for over a month. You've never cared so much after I turned thirteen, so why start now? Only because I almost died for good? Fine. I get it, you're extremely worried, but you also know that keeping me at home or not letting me go, in general, will make me dislike this whole situation ten times more. I' not going to die now. And if I do, you couldn't have stopped it. Oh, yes, sure, you can lock me up at home, but it's just so freaking ridiculous. You can't go around believing that you're dead within the next five minutes! That's like living inside of your head, trapped due to fear and an overactive brain! Get over it!_

But he can't tell her this. Because she'll end up crying. And he'll hate himself for saying anything like that. And also he does understand the reasons for his mom being constantly worried and overprotective, but he'd hoped it would gradually fade. Apparently not yet.

He goes back to the parking lot and slides in the driver's seat. Ignoring the pain from his stings and almost full healed ribs and collar bone, he puts the car in drive. When he parks his car Alex sees an unknown car too. Knowing it can't be someone from the BAU because he recognizes their personal vehicles. And when they drove the FBI cars, it was usually a SUV or a sedan, but nevertheless, he enters his home.

"Alex! There you are." His mom rushed forward and wants to hug him, but he retreats a step, knowing she'll scold him while hugging him. He doesn't need nor want that right now, even though he sees her hurt expression, he tightens his jaw. "You have to tell me when you're leaving," she says, sounding irritated.

"Since when did I have to do that?" he asks. "Last time I did that I was thirteen and it was only when you were away on a case and if I were home alone. I'm not thirteen anymore, don't treat me like I am."

"Well, you sure could've fooled me, talking like that," she fires of.

"Oh, so _how_ do you want me to talk to you? Because the only way I can talk to you is if I tell you about my dead father, or the fact that I was kidnapped. You say to me you want to hear it, but I know you'd rather not, and I can see that you'd actually hear about something else, but you won't let me talk about anything else!" He stomps past her, feeling angry again. He's been angry a lot these last weeks, but not necessarily at his mom or anyone else. Just plain angry at himself, at the situation he is in.

"Alex…" JJ says after him, but he continues to walk. Suddenly the way is blocked. He stops and looks at the person that is blocking his way to the basement. A thin man with spectacles and a hint of a beard covers the basement door. He gives Alex a small, polite smile.

"Good evening, Mr Jareau," he greets. "I've been waiting for you."

"Okay…?" Alex drags out the word, making it sounds like a question. "Good to meet you. I live downstairs, so if you would be so kind to move?"

The man doesn't move. Alex arches an eyebrow.

"Honey, he's here because I asked him to come. He's an old friend of mine."

"Really, then why is he blocking the door to my room if he's _your_ friend?" Alex says coldly and turns to look at his mom. She steps forward.

"Because I wanted you to meet him, Alex, and don't take that tone to me."

"Alex, can I call you that?" the man says, gaining Alex's attention. "I'm Doctor Taylor Brooks, I'm a psychiatrist. Your mom called me last week to book a meeting with you, seeing that you might want someone to talk with after all you've been through."

"I'm good, thanks. Got what I need right here so you don't have to waste your time, Doc."

Doctor Brooks' polite smile doesn't fade.

"But still, I think your mom's right. You do need to talk someone, other than your mother, and her colleagues and friends. They are, if I understood it right, like a family to you."

"You got it all covered, Doc, _but_ you missed one thing: I am good. If I wanted to talk, I'd do it, but I don't."

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't want to talk about it either," Alex snaps, facing his mom with angry eyes, "and every time she asks me to spill out my guts, she just shrimps up and hides."

"Well, then… Your mom cares about you and hearing you talk about what happened isn't particular fun for her. That's why she's hesitant."

"And what?" Alex almost yells. "For me it's fun? It's not fun, it wasn't _fun_ and it won't ever be fun! So if she can't handle me talking about when she's the one asking, then it sure as hell isn't fun to either of us. But I've never said I needed someone else to talk to, someone's that's so skilled at listening to other people talking about their feelings." He takes a pause to breathe. "I don't want anyone to hear what I've done or seen. I don't want anyone to know what I've been through and I certainly don't want someone to analyse what I feel and _why_ I have those feelings. But, ya now, if I have to talk to someone," Alex adds as he gives the doctor a poisonous glance, "I know who I'll visit. But thanks. And no, I'd rather have you say Alexander to me, because I am not a friend and you're not my family."

"Alex!" it comes from JJ. She's shocked to hear her son talk to an authority like that. It is not like him to be so rude.

"What?! Isn't it true, though? And, for the record, how often have you actually asked me about what happened and wanted an answer? Like a real anser. I'll tell you: none!"

"Now that is not true," she protests.

"I think what Mr Jareau is saying," Dr Brooks interrupts, "is that he'd like to talk to someone that he knows well, and that that person has to open minded and accept what he's saying, and don't show that they rather hear about something else."

 _Smart man,_ Alex thinks sarcastically. _Wasn't that what I just said? Does everyone need me to repeat what I say?_

"I understand," JJ starts to say, but Alex cuts her off.

"No!" His hand chops the air between them and every sting and healing bones scream in agony.

"You don't understand, mom. Because if you did, we wouldn't be standing here talking about it, supervised by a shrink."

He lets his hands fall. JJ's face falls too. She opens her mouth to say something, but not a word comes out. Alex sighs and then he moves for the door. This time Dr Brooks moves out of his way and he limps down to his safe heaven.

* * *

Three soft knocks is to be heard. Alex groans in frustration. He is not in the mood for talking or being lectured. Sometime though, he has to apologize to his mother.

"Can I come in?"

Alex jumps. It's not his mom. It's Hayley, Aaron's wife.

"Sure," Alex says, suppressing his confusion. "Come in." He hears her open the sliding door of thin wood.

"Hey," Hayley says. He stands up.

"Hey. How are you?"  
"I'm good, thanks. How are you feeling?"

Alex knows she's not asking out of causality and bites his tongue.

"Great," he replies, though they all know it's a lie. "Is Jack with you?"

"He's upstairs, chatting with your mom and the rest of the team."

"What do you mean by that? They're all here?"

"Yeah," Hayley says, sounding surprised that he doesn't know.

"What is this? Some kind of an intervention because I don't want to speak with Dr Brooks? You know who he is?"

"I know he's an old friend of your mother."

"You could say that," Alex almost spits out. Four hours earlier he'd been searching the internet and he made the connection: Dr Brooks is his mom's 'friend with benefits'. How dare she make him talk to that man?

"Well… I was hoping you could talk to me then," Hayley says, "but not about the recent events, not if you don't want to. But about everything and nothing."

"You're doing the Freud thing with me?" Alex questions hesitantly.

She nods.

"I might. Your aunt's here too, with her wife."

"Okay. You can sit down, if you want." He gesture to his couch and takes the office chair, drags it closer to the couch. "I don't know what to say and I'm not interesting in talking anymore. But thank you for the offer."

"That's okay," Hayley assures him. She smiles a little. "Just know that there are people who care about you, who still love you and support you, no matter what."

"Yeah… I know."

The awkward silence grows bigger for each second and Alex swallows. He's highly uncomfortable and he doesn't know what to say. And besides, he doesn't know Hayley very well, though he's been at their house to babysit Jack countless times.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you," Hayley softly says. Alex looks at her, seeing the candour in her eyes. Again the broken pieces cut him up, making him so vulnerable. He presses his teeth hard together and even though it hurts, he won't loosen up. He won't start crying now. Not in front of Hayley! She's not his mother.

"Well… What's going on upstairs? They're talking about me?"

"Nope. You're not that popular," Hayley jokes. "Oh, well, I guess some of it is about you, but right now they're planning the twins' birthday."

 _Damn, that's right. They're celebrating two days before me._

"Cool," he says meekly.

"You're turning seventeen soon. Are you going to celebrate?"

"Doubt it. It's not something I do much," he says. "It's hard to plan a birthday party with your family when they're always gone or on-call, or sleeping,"

"Touché," Hayley chuckles. She knows this better than anyone, being married to the BAU's unit chief.

"Alex! Don't tell me you're down here sulking!"

Both Hayley and Alex look at the door as slides open, revealing Olive. She's dressed quite formal, Alex mentally remarks, scanning his aunt from bottom to top. Light blouse with a dark blue blazer over, matching dress pants and black shoes. Her hair is much less messier than Alex's used to see, and she wears more makeup than before. Getting married does, after all, change you a bit.

"Hi, Auntie. And no, I'm not sulking. I'm talking. It's a difference," he greets as he stands up to accept the hug he knows he'll get. Olive just laughs.

"I'm just messing with you, bro," she says, trying to play it cool, "so, what's up? We're planning a hell of birthday party upstairs."

"So I've heard. What about my party?"

Olive becomes serious.

"Do you want a party?" she asks.

"No," Alex gives her a small, sly grin. Her face falls.

"Really? Oh, why not? Come on, it'll be fun. You're only turning seventeen once. I can host it," she offers. "Diana and I can have all of you at our house."

"House? You two bought a house and didn't think of inviting me over? Or at least telling me?" Alex fakes a hurt voice. His aunt bites her lip.

"Well…" she says, and slowly breathes out, "we did kinda invite you over. But… I don't think you heard it. Or like, you were busy at that time." She avoids looking at him and he then realizes why. They had invited him over while he was in his catatonic state.

 _Shit._

"Oh…" Alex inhales a sharp breath, not knowing what to say. He can't remember his two weeks when he was so shocked and depressed and sad. They had him on psych ward and suicide watch, even though he never attempted suicide. That was his mom's biggest fear, that her son would become so depressed that he'll commit it, just like her sister, and that's why she'd signed the papers to have him transferred.

"But you know what? Why don't you come over tomorrow? Diana will be home early too, and my schedule's not too busy so I can leave around noon. How does that sound?" Olive tries to stay positive as always. Not wanting to disappoint either of them, Alex nods. Now he's mom will be happy that he spends time with Olive and Diana, and that he isn't alone or takes off to the graveyard.

"Shall we go upstairs?" Hayley asks the both of them. "To see what they're doing, I mean."

"Yeah, let's go," Olive agrees. Her enthusiasm is contiguous and Alex shrugs and agrees too.

They all walk out of his room. He closes the sliding door and then he starts on the somewhat painful trip upstairs. The first floor is packed with people: Aaron, Dave, Derek, Spencer, Emily, Jonas, Jack, Henry and Hillary, his mom, Penelope, Diana and also an unknown older girl.

"Alex!" The kids take off and hurry towards Alex. Jack's the fastest and he's just about to jump on Alex when his mother grabs him.

"Jack, don't jump on people," she chides him. "Alex's injures aren't healed yet. You can hurt him."

It's just like she stuck a needle in a balloon. Jack's happy façade makes a complete turnover and he looks guilty and sad. Alex kneels down, touching Jack's arm.

"Hey, little man. I'm not that hurt, okay? Just no jumping for the moment, yeah? Other than that, we can play as before, I'll just be a bit slower than before, 'aight?"

Jack shines up and he nods eagerly.

"Okay," he smiles. "Can I hug you?" he asks. Alex nods.

"Yeah, of course."

Even though it'll hurt a bit, he doesn't want to seem weak in front of the others, and he knows Jack will be feeling much better if he can get that hug. Then he won't think that his uncle is sick or hurt. That'll just upset him further. Jack once came along on hi physical therapy, and that was only because he had waited almost two months to see Alex.

"Can we hug you too?" Hillary asks. She gives her brother a glance. He nods too.

"Yes, you can. Who goes first?"

He shouldn't have asked that, because immediately they start whining about who should go first. Hillary says she will go firs because she asked and because she's the oldest. Henry on his side argues and tells Hillary that Alex needs to be hugged by him first because he is the youngest. And so it goes on.

"Okay, you know? I will decide," Alex interrupts the fight and grabs them both and hugs them as they scream with joy.

The team greets Alex, but they all act as everything's okay and normal. Alex silently thanks them: he appreciates it and he knows they know, seeing the whole house if filled with profilers, but it's also an act from a normal human being. You should never comment on the abnormal.

"Alex, do you have action figures?" Jack whispers loudly.

"I do have some, but they're old. Do you like playing with those now?"

"Yes!" The kid nods several times.

 _Kids,_ Alex thinks to himself, _they're changing interests all the time._

"Well, then, maybe I'll find some of them and we can play later? What do you say, little man?"

Jack replies with a huge grin and lots of nodding. JJ comes forward, accompanied by the unknown girl. Or young woman. She's older than Alex.

"Alex, I'd like for you to meet someone," JJ says, gesturing to the young woman.

Alex stares at her. She looks unmistakably familiar, but at the same time, he can't remember to have ever seen her, let alone to ever have spoken to her. "I'll leave you two to be." JJ turns and leaves her son.

"Hey," the woman says, smiling a bit. "Do you know who I am?"

Alex slowly shakes his head, wrinkling his forehead as he tries to understand why she looks so familiar. She's not family, she's not from school, not a family member to any of his friends, not from the hospital, and she's not lacrosse related either.

"I'm sorry," he says, "but I don't know you. You look familiar though."

"It's okay. I thought you'd say that. I'm Mary. Mary Hastings."


	4. AN

Good day or night (depending on where you live) I have gotten through exams and been working everyday since graduation, therefor I haven't been writing much. However, I am now, but from now on every chapter that comes out here is written by my cousin. Seeing I won't have much time when I'm moving out and starting "on a new chapter in my life" my cousin has been nice enough to take over these stories. I will be co-writing when I got time. Hopefully chapters will now appear more often than before :)

Thank you all, Warriors


	5. Chapter 4

Alexander freezes.

 _Mary? Mary Hastings._

"You're Mabel's sister," he says, though he sounds like a question. Mary nods. She gives him a sad side glance.

"I am."

 _Shit! What do I say? Should I tell her I'm sorry? Or should I not? I lost her too. But it was my fault, all of it happened because of me and… She knows that._

 _That's why she's here. She's angry with me. Rightfully so, though. Oh man, I'm not ready for this. She can't come here and…and…_

"I don't know what to say."

Mary interrupts the silence between them, making Alexander panic less when she looks just as nervous as he feels.

"Eh… Me neither. Well, I'm kind of glad you're here, though I wished it could've happened under better circumstances. And, of course, I'm sor…"

"No!" she snaps, "don't say that. You're not the reason she's dead."

 _But I am._

"It was that… That _man_!" Mary hisses venomously, "it's his fault."

 _And was my father. He came after me and he took Mabel too in order to keep me under control. She was in danger because of me. Because she was with me!_

Alexander wants so badly to tell Mary everything, but as he opens his mouth, the words choke him and he falls quiet.

"Don't," Mary repeats. "I know what you're gonna say. That it was your fault because you were with her and that man hunted you. I know everything, but that doesn't make it your fault. Being with someone is… It's always a risk for something to happen, you know? Mabel chose you because she really loved you, and even if you'd know about what _he_ was going to do and warned my sister, she would not have listened. You were both a target. You were both innocent."

 _Stop! Stop it!_

 _It's not true._

 _My mom knew about my father. She knew he'd come after me. She knew how dangerous he was. And I knew I put Mabel in danger by only seeing her. In general, the children to FBI parents are constant in some danger. We're always a target._

 _I knew that._

 _But I didn't tell Mabel that._

 _And she's dead now._

"Alexander? Please, stop thinking that it's your fault." Mary's pleading voice manages to break through his mind. He grits his teeth together. How can she say he's not to blame? Doesn't she hate his guts for even being alive when _she_ isn't?

"I'm not…innocent," he spits out, sounding regretful.

"But you were a target, and you didn't know any better. Besides, he did overman you both, having more gun power and also two others with him. The odds were against you. Don't you see that?"

She sounds desperate, now more than ever. She really wants Alexander to understand and to stop blaming himself. He doesn't deserve even more pain.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" he whispers. He looks up. "Why don't you hate me for being alive?"

Mary sighs and looks down.

"It wouldn't make any difference," she breathes quietly. "She's still gone."

* * *

"Alex! Hey, come on in."

Diane steers the teenager inside of the house. Alex looks around. The house is a normal sized, modern house, but with dark interior making everything look vintage and expensive, but classy. There's not a plate that is not shimmering or glowering. Everything is clean, and the kitchen is spotless. Most of the kitchen is made up of stainless steel and wood.

"Honey, guess who's here?" Diane yells to drown the sound of music. "Alex's here!"

"Alex? Where?"

Then Alex hears a pair of running feet and then something that hits something. A 'ouch, oh, shit' comes from the nearest room and Alex exchanges an amused glance with Diane. She lets out an inaudible chuckle.

Aunt Olive jumps out with a huge grin. She looks excited at her nephew.

"Alex! You're here! Come on, we'll show you around." To her wife she adds: "You won't believe what happened? I hit the table again! With the same leg! Look, I even got a mark."

She pulls up her sweatpants and flashes a nicely bruised leg.

"Oh, honey, you oughta be more careful," Diane says with affection. Aunt Olive just sighs and rolls her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, lady!" Diane fires.

"No, okay, fine! I won't," Aunt Olive gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before she digs her nails in Alex's overarm and drags him with her. They give him a very detailed tour around the house and outside in the garden.

"We were thinking that you might come over and help us with these," Diane says. She points to the four-five bushes. They're grown too big and now they block out much sunlight that the two of them could've enjoyed, especially in the mornings. Alex nods.

"Sure. What should I with the bushes? Cut them down or trim them?"

"Remove them all," Aunt Olive speaks up before her wife can, "they're annoying and give us both allergies. Just take cut them and burn it."

"I'll get right on it," he responds.

"Oh, no, you don't have to do it now," Diane says quickly. "You're still injured. I don't want you to do something your body's not ready for."

"The doctors have cleared me for driving and even exercising," he protests.

"Yes, under _supervision_!" Aunt Olive scolds. "I know how this works, Alex. Now, you don't have to do it now and I doubt you're even cleared for doing such body work."

Alex scowls.

"Then what else am I supposed to do, huh? Stay home and watch movies? I'll _sulk_ as you all so nicely put it. It doesn't do me any good being forced inside all the time, and especially not now when I can leave, but no one will let me do anything!" He heaves, feeling the stings in his side stretch, but he ignores it all. "I have to do _something!_ " he yells out. Setting his eyes on his aunt, he swallows and breathes slowly, trying to regain some control. "Just… _please_ , let me do this. It'll help me get my thoughts on something else. And it will be good for me being outside."

His aunt looks helpless. She tries to get some advice from her wife, but she too is stunned to silence; none of them know how to deal with this. They can't let Alex get hurt now that he's healing, and if Jennifer hears about this… She'll have their heads on a plate! But at the same time, they know that this could help their nephew. It's actually quite logic and he did tell them that it'll get his mind on something else than his trauma.

After a while, Diane gives Olive a short nod.

"I think we'll start with only one," she says. She watches her wife. Aunt Olive bites her bottom lip. She tries to come up with something to say. Something that will avoid Alex restraining himself, but will also help him with thinking of someone else than Mabel. But her mind's blank. She gives in for her nephew.

"Okay then. But," she adds sternly, looking at her wife and then at Alex, "not a single word to my sister!"

Alex gives his aunt a lopsided smile.

"Deal."

* * *

Hey y'all! I'm the new writer of these stories and I'm hoping to write a bit more often than my cousin. But I need your help, seeing y'all been reading these fanfics long before I got hired, I imagine y'all have some ideas or hopes for the story's development. Please, leave a review (it can be a question, an idea or critic) and I'll hit you back.

Next chapter of this story will up in August, at the latest!

Thank y'all, Warriors!


	6. Chapter 5

"Mom?"

JJ stirs. She opens her eyes. Until now, she's been lying on the couch with a blanket draped over her body as she watched a documentary, dozing a bit. Now she rises up so fast that she feels dizzy.

"Y-Yes?"

This is the first time Alex has been the one to start a conversation. She tries to hide her hopes with a serious mask.

"I don't have anything to give to the twins tomorrow." He sounds both regretful and ashamed.

Their birthday party will be hold tomorrow at 2 p.m. and the whole BAU team with their families are invited. JJ smiles, but only a little. Alex's worried about not bringing a gift to the twins, but they all know that if he shows up, it's a gift itself for the kids. They all love him immensely and he'll be too busy handling them all, to even see them open any gifts. On the other hand, he seems very sadden by this and she knows the only thing will help if they can come up with an idea.

"Well, we got some time tomorrow before the party," she says softly, "we can go shopping then?"

He shakes his head.

"No, I want it to be special."

"Honey, they'll think it's very special because you have given it to them," JJ insists.

"Mom, it's not gonna work. It has to be…something that won't remind them of me."

JJ stands up, frowning.

"What? Why would you say that?"

He clenches his teeth together, making the jawline cuts out.

"They can't look at what I've given and then reminding themselves on how I was at that time. Now they don't understand fully, but they will someday. And when that day comes, I don't want them to think that… The memory of me, how I look and act and… They can't see me like that forever because of a gift."

JJ opens her mouth. She understands now what her son's trying to say. A gift that won't remind the twins about their favourite person's weakest and most vulnerable time of his life.

"What if you make them something?" she suggests. "I really don't know how you can give them anything that won't remind them of you, seeing it's from you. But I know they'll love whatever you decide to give."

He doesn't reply. They look at each other for a good amount of time as the TV makes background noise. Alex looks as if he's physically hurting and he breathes heavily.

"I'll just stay home," he says in a defeated voice and turns to walk away. JJ, not wanting him to go so soon, shouts after him.

"Wait!"

He stops. Good! It worked then. She hurries towards his stiff body figure and stands in front of him, blocking his way.

"You're on my gift," she says. "What do you say? And please, come to the party. The kids will love it, you know that. Besides, you're their godfather. It's your unofficial duty."

She can formerly hear gears turning and shifting. Waiting in anticipation for him to make a decision.

"Yeah, 'kay then. I'll just write my name on the card," he says, sounding bitter.

JJ brightens up.

"Great!"

/

The sound of children music, laughter and screams fills the air. The door to the kitchen leading out on the back porch is open. Henry is on the lookout for his godfather. He lets out a squeal and jumps up and down on the spot when he sees Alex walking behind his mom, carrying two gifts.

"Alex's here!" he shouts. Then several things happen quite fast: Henry manages to jump over the white fence while his twin sister runs through the house, using the front door instead, and the grownups turn around and walk straight ahead to welcome them. Also there are a few other kids, but Alex doesn't know them, and he assumes they're kindergarten kids, but they all storm forward too, eager to see what's going on.

Jack runs through the house with Hillary and they both reach Alex just as he puts Henry down after hugging him.

"And where's the other birthday kid?" he asks out loud. He acts oblivious to the adults who are all watching him.

"I'm here! Alex, look down," the tiny girl yells, jumping and waving when Alex pretends not to see her.

"I can't see her, pal," he says, looking at Henry for support, "do you know where your sister went off?"

Henry giggles and shakes his head. Alex scrunches up his face in fake confusion and wanders around, ignoring Hillary's squeals. Suddenly he bows down, drops the gifts, swirls around and grabs the little girl. She lets out a scream and laughs.

"Happy birthday, little princess," he says in her ear. Hillary smiles. "Now," Alex puts her down, "where's the cake? And Jack, my man! How's it going?" He squats down and picks up the gifts. Jack stands in front of him, giggling.

"Have you been very sick?" he asks. Alex blinks.

"Uh… Yes. Why?"

Jack walks closer and he leans forward, cupping his mouth to say something.

"I wanted to come and see you," he whispers secretive, "but mom said I couldn't, and dad told me you were in the hospital. And when you came back, you were still hurt. But…" he looks sideways up at the older boy, "are you better now? Can we play again like before?"

Alex peers down at the little boy. He knows he can't tell Jack or the twins about what happened: they're too young, and he doesn't want them to know. But what should he say? He doesn't like lying and he certainly won't lie to Jack, but he can tell parts of the truth, withholding the gruesome details.

"I got injured very badly, and I didn't want you to see me like that," he answers honestly. His eyes dart away from his mom. "And I had to be at the hospital for a while, but they released me so I could continue to heal at home. But yes, I'm much better now. And yes, of course we can play. But maybe not right away because we're going to do so much other things! We have to sing and eat so much food. There's cake…"

"And jelly!" Jack says excitedly. Alex laughs and nods.

"And jelly," he says, "and the twins celebrating so they'll need to open their gifts and everything. So, if we get time, we'll play. Okay, little man?"

Jack nods eagerly. He takes Alex's uninjured hand and leads him through the house, followed by the twins and his mom and Emily. In the garden, the BAU team with their families are chatting with the other parents. Alex gets to see the jelly in the fridge before the kids released him to go play with the others. He placed the gifts on a table stacked with plates, plastic cups, cutlery, birthday candle lights, those shiny birthday hats, and other gifts.

Jason and Derek are playing with a football. Emily is speaking with some of the mothers of the other kids. JJ, Penelope, Spencer and Hayley are having a conversation. Standing with a wine glass each, Jonas and Dave laughs of something. Not wanting to participate in small talk or entertaining the kids, Alex plops down on chair, just watching everyone. He's trying to not think about Mabel, because he doesn't want to be sad right now. Today is his godchildren's birthday! He has to make a good impression; he has to be a good godfather. And that involves not being moody or sad while they're having fun. He sighs and with his index and middle finger he pushes and presses his temple.

But it doesn't help at all. He knows that something's missing. And that something is her. Mabel should have been here too. She should have been the one who came along with him and JJ. She should've gotten hugs and gotten to see all this. But the chair next to him is empty. Just as empty as his heart where she had a special place. It was her that made him feel so content with life. It was her that made him see how lucky he was. And it was her that made him go to the hospital, volunteering and helping others that needed someone to talk to. Someone that wasn't a shrink.

He hasn't been volunteering at all, but he has considered it countless times. It just doesn't feel right to go without her. Alex doesn't know if the people in there are aware of what's happened. But they're probably are. The event made it on national news. Maybe even international. So what if he did go? What would he say to them? They'd definitely ask about Mabel. And about him too. He'd rather not tell them anything.

"Alex, do you want to play chess?"

The Italian man has the board and pieces in his hands. He smiles expectantly.

"Uh… No, no thank you, sir," Alex answers. He isn't in the mood to play chess today. Usually he loves it, especially playing with Spencer. Spencer almost always wins, but Alex likes to play against him. With Spencer being the most advanced player he'll ever play against, Alex always learns something new when he plays. Same with Dave too, but at least he can win more often against him than with the doctor.

"Oh, come on. What else are you going to do?"

Only ten minutes later, Dave beats him, even playing with the black pieces. Alex scowls. He knew he'd lose, but he never enjoyed losing against the older man.

"One more time?" Dave asks. Alex gives him a short nod. "Remember," the man says, "to always look for another angel."

This time he's going to concentrate more. He'll have to make up a stagey and he has to try to foresee Dave's moves. He puts up the pieces again. Dave does the same. Alex takes the board and drags it halfway around. Now he has to play with the black pieces, meaning Dave will open the game.


	7. 2nd AN

Hello there.

I'm now very curious about what y'all think about the last chapter! Is there _anything_ you wish for me to write, do you have a question or an idea to the story? Whatever it is, please, tell me, either PM or with a review.

Soon I'll be heading back to school, _but_ don't worry! We'll get a lot of free time in the first few months, so I'll be writing as much as my brain is capable of. Hopefully I won't have too much of a writer's block!

 **Thank you all Warriors**


	8. Chapter 6

"Good game, kiddo," Dave says, giving Alex a smirk. "You almost beat me now."

"Almost, though," Alex mumbles. Dave helps him collect the pieces and clap together the chess board.

"Next time you'll beat me," he says before standing up with the game, leaving Alex to himself. Soon Spencer replaces the Italian man's empty chair.

"Did you win?"

"Nope." Alex shakes his head.

"Dave's a good player," Spencer praises. "I've won against him 3 out of 4 times we've played." He frowns, clearly upset.

"Hey, Alex!"

Alex turns upon hearing his name being called out. It's Emily. And she's waving him in. Spencer gesture him to go off.

"What's up?"

"Could you find your mom and Pen for me? We're ready to start eating," she says, "and I'd like to have everyone here so I can take a picture."

Alex nods. Emily disappears back to the kitchen. He scrutinizes the garden, but he can't see either his mom or the tech analyst. They must've gone inside. He goes into the house and checks the living room, the bathrooms and then the twins' room with noluck.  
Quietly he takes the stairs up to second floor. Outside of the second door to the left, he can hear muffled voices.

 _There they are._

He is just about to knock on the door, when he hears his own name.

"…and Alex's not talking about it. At least not to me. I doubt he talks to anyone about that."

He freezes with one hand stretched out. It's his mom. And she's crying. Leaning closer to the door, he puts his hear to the key hole.

"He just needs some time."

That's Penelope.

"To do what? Alex's a smart boy. He has had time to process it."

"JJ," Penelope says soothingly "he's grieving."

"I know. I know he's grieving, but he's not letting anyone in and keep bottling everything up. He's so mad, though."

"Or he's just disappointed?"

"No, Pen. He's mad. Or he is both, but mostly mad. And at me."

Alex hears a sigh.

"And I know I deserve the silent treatment, but I'm so tired of it! I just wished he'd say something. _Anything!_ If he could just look at me and yell at me… I think that would've been better for both of us. Everything's better than this."

"I don't think he likes being mad at you, but he is. So maybe he feels that it's wrong to be mad, so he doesn't want to talk to you. In case he snaps."

"Pen… I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried everything, but nothing helps. I've given him space and time, I've asked for help, I've tried to reconcile with him, I've tried talking to him, I've tried to show him how much I regret not telling him  
/about his father. Nothing works! How much time does he wants?"

The last sentence comes out in an anguished scream. Alex looks down. He knows he's been quite the challenge for his mom. And for the BAU team, but mostly his mom. He hasn't treated her well, and though she deserves to feel as she's failed, she doesn't  
/deserve this: being so… helpless and alone.

But he can't help it. He's still mad. Penelope's right: he's disappointed and angry, and he needs time to figure out how to talk to his mom without losing it completely. It's been two months. How much time does he really need? In all honesty though: he's  
/been planning to talk to his mom, but he can't get himself to do so. Because it's easier to stay mad and treat her the way he does than actually open up and hear her side of the story. Because he knows her story's good and that she only wanted what's  
/best for him. And can't possible stay mad for that. It's not her fault everything that happened. She didn't control the weather to take out the power. And she didn't know that his own father would come after him.

Hearing his mom cries makes his heart twitch. He's ashamed of himself.

* * *

His head hits the pillow and he relaxes. It's been a long day. The twins' party was actually a bit fun. After they've eaten, they all watched as the twins opened their presents. They played around in the garden until the party was officially over.

Emily took the kids to the gate to say goodbye and thanking the guests for coming while the rest of the BAU team alongside with Jason and Alex started cleaning up. By the time Emily came back inside the kitchen shone, the dish washer was doing programmed  
/and the outside area was cleaned up. Jason had gone out to clean the grill. Derek, his mom and Penelope had collected the gifts, Alex had taken the trash outside and the others helped to re-arrange the furniture to their original spot. On the way  
/home, Alex didn't say a word to his mom, though his brain had been screaming to him to say anything. He knew now that his mom was so unsure about the whole situation, and that she didn't know how to handle this anymore. The second the car stopped,  
/he leaped out and entered the house, using his own key. And now he's downstairs in his room, lying down in his bed.

He feels awful. How long until his mom breaks? How long until she snaps and demands answers. Or throws him out?

 _Okay, she'd never do that._

 _But yeah, I've pushed her too far. She thinks she deserves it. I think she does too… though she doesn't deserve to suffer that much._

 _So what the hell am I gonna do? Yell? Cry? Whatever I tell her will hurt her even more. And I don't want to talk about any of it to her. It'll make everything too real. It'll make me worse. And she won't handle it._

He punches the pillow, letting out a frustrated growl. After almost two hours he finally falls asleep. His phone is still playing one of his playlist, only stopping when the battery died out. The alarm never went off. It ended up with him waking up right  
/before noon.

Furious he jumps out of bed, only wincing and almost collapsing when his stitches protest.

"Fuck this shit," he growls. Hurrying towards the bathroom he stands in front of the mirror and peels off t-shirt. He can see the stings. The scars are still red, but the colour's fading for each day. Slowly he lets the index finger trace down his scar.  
/It doesn't look pretty. And it doesn't make him feel like a man who has something to brag about. Because what can he brag about? He just watched, feeling as helpless as a chicken while his girlfriend got beaten up. All he could do was watch in fear,  
/feeling so enraged and alone. The scars he's gotten will always remind him of what he's been through. He can't ever forget Mabel or the way she died, knowing he should've done something to prevent it.

After taking a shower and gotten dressed, he goes upstairs. His mom's not home, meaning she's working. Or maybe she's gone on a case.

He checks the fridge. No note. Carrying the charger in his hand, he searches for an outlet and sticks the charger in. The phone automatically starts. Feeling hungry he starts hunting for food in the kitchen, but quickly stops when he hears the doorbell  
/ring. He hurries towards the door.

"Emily? Are you okay? What's going on?"

An icing feeling stumps his stomach. Alex can only think the worst has happened: either his mom's dead or she's been injured while on duty. He tries to Emily's facial expression and her body language. She looks nervous: her eyes are flickering.

"Is it mom?" he says. He can't hide the panic in his voice. Emily avoids looking at him. "It _is_ , isn't? Emily, tell me what's going on!" he demands to know.

Emily inhales a shaky breath.

"Yeah. It's your mom."

* * *

The car tires smell burnt and there are marks after them. Alex didn't stop completely the whole way to the hospital. Poor Emily. And she thought Derek drove horrifically? Alex beat him without a problem. Thank God they were using the FBI vehicle, and  
/using the sirens. If they hadn't, Emily's pretty sure the police would've given Alex a ticket and taken away his license.

"Jennifer Jareau," he yells to the nurse. He's panting. "Where is she?"

"Room 334," the nurse answers, rather perplexed by the young visitor's behaviour. "She's just out of surgery. You can't go in there yet."

"I'm her son!" he snaps. Luckily Emily grabs his shoulders and steers him away from the nurse.

"Alex, relax! If you're making a scene here they'll ban you from even stepping a foot in here."

"I don't care! He can't deny me seeing her. Let me go, Emily." He breaks out of her grip and heads for the elevator. Emily follows closely behind. "Come on!" he groans to the elevator. They're on the first floor, but have to go two stories up, and the  
/elevator won't move. He pushes it violently. Nothing happens.

"Alex…" But Alex flies through a door next to Emily, cutting her off. He takes the stairs, two at the time. Even the FBI profiler has trouble with keeping up. By the time Emily has finished the stairs, Alex has disappeared. She knows where he's going,  
/but she doesn't want to spy on them. Instead she texts the team and tells them that Alex's visiting his mom and that they should stay clear until further notice. Of course Penelope insists on stopping by after work hours, claiming she needs to feed  
/her darlings, and to be there for both of them. Emily gives in and only twenty minutes past 5, Penelope's heels are clicking over the newly polished floor. She's dressed in a specular yellow blazer with a dark, plaid skirt, and a zebra striped blouse.  
/Her heels are purple.

"Hey."

The two women hug.

"How's it going? Have you talked to any of them? How is Alex handling this?"

"Pen, Pen, relax, and breathe," Emily says patiently, using the same voice now as when she's trying to calm down her kids. "I really don't know. I haven't seen either of them since Alex took off."

"Took off?!" Penelope repeats in a shrilling voice. "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, no, he's still here. I meant, he ran from me. I tell you, that boy is fast!"

* * *

"Mom?"

His mother is lying in the crisp white bed. Everything is white: the bed sheet, her hospital gown, the white floor tiles, the white roof and the damn white walls reflecting the sun light. It burned his eyes.

"Hey, honey."

Alex bites his tongue, giving himself a mental kick. How can he deserve to hear his mom talk to him with so much tenderness and love after all the crap he's been giving her?

"Mom…" He loses his voice, but clears his throat. "Mom, how are you feeling?"

"Like someone hit me with a bat."

He moves uncomfortable.

"Mom… I'm sorry."

His mother scrunches up her face.

"For what?"

"For everything. For acting out these past weeks. For lashing out on you when you didn't deserve it, and to block you out when you only wanted to help. And I'm sorry that you… that I blamed you for things."

Jennifer's face lit up. Her eyes wander to her son's face. It's full of regret and sadness.

"I…really don't know what to say. Other than thank you. But, honey, you know that you lost someone very important to you and you were kidnapped and tortured."

He flinches, but Jennifer continues.

"You were allowed to be upset. That incident…of course it leaves scares. You have PTSD. I understand that you're upset."

"Mom, stop," he interrupts. "Don't make any excuses for my recent behaviour. It won't make me feel any better. Actually it'll make me feel worse. So let me just… I don't know. Let me clean up after myself."

Slowly Jennifer nods. Her lips curl upwards.

"Thank you," she whispers. Tears are threatening to fall.

He looks at her briefly, nodding, before standing up with a sigh.

"See you tomorrow," he says. "Visiting's hour is over and I practically snuck in here to see you. Don't tell the FBI."


	9. Chapter 7

AlbumMay 6th.

It's his birthday today.

And his mom is in the hospital after the surgery for removing her appendix. Alex knows that neither this year he will celebrate with a birthday party, but he's gotten texts from the BAU team, a phone call from the Jonas and the twins that sung him 'Happy  
/Birthday.' Later today he'll stop by the team's bullpen, on a request from Penelope. Or it was a commando rather than a request. She actually threatened him with messing with his social media profiles, and most probably spams him with e-mails.

But first he will meet up with Matt and Omar. They're going to hang out until he'll head for the BAU's headquarter. He haven't really spent much time with them since he and Mabel were abducted, and he feels guilty for blocking them out when they too tried  
/to help.

As he stands in front of the mirror to get ready for meeting up with the guys, the doorbell goes off. He frowns. No one's are invited over and usually the BAU team members tell him if they're coming to visit. They know he hesitates with answering the  
/door, still afraid of maybe getting abducted again. It's just a precaution that they called before they actually rang the bell.

Either way, he hurries to the kitchen. Through the window he sees the blue station wagon that belongs to the Hotchner family. He sighs relieved and head for the door. Outside stand Jack with his mother. Jack brightens up when he sees Alex. Hayley lets  
/go off Jack and the next second Jack has crashed into Alex to give him a hug.

"Hey there, little guy. What's up?" Alex hugs the tiny boy back. He's honestly missed Jack and his company. Having him close makes him feel that nothing's changed. He manages to forget.

"Uncle Alex! Happy birthday!" Jack screams. Alex smiles.

"Thanks, buddy!"

"Jack, let Alex go now," Hayley softly scolds the younger boy. Jack releases his uncle. "Happy birthday, Alexander. How are you doing?"

"Thank you, Hayley. I'm fine, and you?"

Hayley just smiles. She's happy to see Alex smile again. And it's mostly because of her son, she thinks proudly.

"Come on in."

Alex steps aside to let the guests in. He closes the door behind them and checks his watch.

"I was going to meet the boys in a few," he explains, "but it can wait a bit more."

"Oh, but we won't be long," Hayley hurries to say. "Jack has just been so excited to see you, and we didn't know if you were actually coming to headquarter or not. And this little guy here couldn't wait any longer either."

"It's fine. But yeah, I'll guess I have to guess meet up with the team later. If not, Penelope's going to hack my Facebook account. And spam me with e-mails, according to her text."

The two of them laugh.

"Do you want something to drink?" he offers.

"I'm good, but thank you."

"Do you have chocolate milk?" Jack asks. He is so cute with the big eyes as he stares up at Alex, smiling with the two teeth missing.

"Sure. You wanna help me mixing?"

The youngster nods eagerly.

"The milk's in the fridge."

Jack manages to open the fridge, localise the milk and take it out. His mom shuts the fridge door for him. Alex takes out a glass and finds the _Oboy_ powder and a spoon. He measures one spoon.

"How many spoons should we go for today?" he asks Jack.

This is a thing they always do when they're drinking chocolate milk. Alex will always give Jack the choices of how much he wants with the chocolate powder.

"Three!"

Hayley doesn't say anything while Alex scoops the spoons in the glass.

"How many are you going to have, Uncle Alex?" Jack asks seriously.

Alex takes the question just as serious.

"You know what? I think I'll have three too. Or maybe _four_! Considering it's my birthday and everything."

* * *

Four-thirty the very same day Alex heads for the BAU-headquarter, taking the elevator. He has called Penelope to tell her he's on his way. After he spent the whole day with his best friends, driving around, practicing their FIFA skills at Omar's and also  
/going outside with Omar's dog, he texted his mom.

She will come home tomorrow and stay home in order to recover. That will take a month, even more. During that time, Alex has decided to try to re-establish their relationship. And he also promised his aunt to help them with their garden.

He had gotten texts from his mother today too. She wished him a happy birthday and that he should meet up with Penelope and stay over there for the night. Jennifer didn't like the thought of her son being alone on his birthday, even though he didn't give  
/his birthdays any extra attention. Sometimes it was like if she was the child, pleading Alex to have a party. She loves throwing birthday parties whereof Alex is totally the opposite. He explained to her that maybe it was a girl thing.

The elevator doors open and he steps out. The bullpen is quiet. The BAU team's section is almost empty and Alex assumes that most of them are done for today and have headed home.

Not giving the others much of a thought, he goes to Penelope's office and knocks on the door.

"Come in, my lovely godson, and be amazed."

 _'And be amazed' actually._

He opens the door. Several screens and the constant sound of monitors and the air conditioner greet him alongside with people who are screaming and clapping.

Alex stops dead in his tracks, completely taken by surprise. The lights flicker on and he can see the whole BAU team, with their families. Even his mom! And his Aunt Olive with Diana.

"Surprise!" they shout in unison as they clap and laugh. Then he is covered by others hands and hugged. He can't help smiling.

"Mom… You're not allowed to be outside of the hospital," he blurts out, earning another round of laughter.

His mom beams at him.

"Oh, but I am. You know, if you're best friend happen to be a doctor and you're going to be inside of a governmental building, full of FBI agents and doctors, you're pretty safe. Besides, Penelope only had to mess around a bit with the cameras as Derekand  
/Emily snuck me out."

Alex stares at his mom.

"Are you for real?"

"Yup," his mom, Penelope, Derek and Emily all say. His mom adds: "And relax, honey. I'll be back to the hospital bed when we've celebrated you."

"Talking about celebrating," Penelope says, "you have to open your gifts!"

Her eyes are glinting with a childish excitement. She looks just like the kids.

"Uh… What gifts? I didn't…"

"Ask for anyone," his godmother supplies. "We know. Do you think we'd listen to that?"

Alex sighs and rolls his eyes.

"I should've known better, but I was kinda hoping that you wouldn't make such a big deal of out this."

"Then you don't know your own godmother," Emily says, scoffing lightly.

"Yeah, man, ya know she'd never miss any opportunity to celebrate ya," Derek jokes. Jonas agrees too.

"It's like asking a dog to not run after a stick."

"Okay, okay, now, everyone, act nice or I will delete your existence within a night," Penelope threats, giving the men a stern glance. Derek only grins slyly.

Thankfully Jack burst out from behind the adults.

"Hey there, little man. You're here too?"

Jack smiles widely and nods several times. He holds a wrapped present.

"You want to open your gifts now? It's from me, mommy and daddy."

Alex kneels down and accepts the gift, and the hug he gets.

"Sure. Thanks, buddy. Would you mind helping me open this?"

And of course Jack's open for the task. Together they tore the paper, revealing a tiny box.

"You must read the card first," Jack says promptly, handing Alex a written card.

"Ah, is that so? Out loud?"

Several encouraging murmurs and nods tell him yes.

" _To Alexander. Happy birthday! Now you only have one year left where you can act as an idiot and not get into too much trouble. Enjoy it while it lasts. We hope you will have a great celebration! With much love, Jack, Hayley and Aaron._ "

Alex smiles. He looks at the Hotchner family. They all look back, giving him comforting smiles.

"Thank you," he says to them.

"You're welcome," Hotch tells him. Alex puts the card on the side and checks the tiny, black box he just got. It's light. He opens the lid, looking surprised when he sees what it contains.

"Wow… Sweet!"

He pulls out a pair of fancy looking sunglasses, black, mirrored glass so others cannot see where or what Alex is seeing.

"It was Jack who picked them out," Hotch says, and Jack confirms it by nodding.

"They're very nice. Thank you!"

The next gifts are placed in his arms before he can say anything else. First Penelope insists on giving him her gift. The gift is from her, Derek, David and Spencer: three tickets to see the Richmond Kickers and a small collection of old postage stamps.

"I collected stamps when I was younger," David tells them, "these are all Italian, Spanish or even Danish stamps from when I was little."

From his mom, Alex got a pair of Bluetooth ear plugs. Olive and Diana have gotten him an equipment kit used for cleaning cars. Lastly the twins gave Alex his gift from them and their parents: albumbooks with plastic pockets where he could put all

his stamps in. After he had read all the cards, opened all the gifts, thanked everyone and hugged them, Penelope, who almost couldn't stand still, jumps forward with a cake in her hands.

"Oh, man!" Alex groans. "As y'all haven't given me more than enough for a life time. This is way too much, guys, really."

But again, no one listens to him. The next hour they all sit down or lean against tables or the wall, eating the birthday cake that Penelope and Spencer had used all day on. The design was amazing: illustrating The Joker from Batman! And it wasn't overly  
/sweet either. They ate together, cracked jokes, chatted and had genuinely a good time. The kids were of course running around Penelope's office, touching her screens even when their mothers told them not to.

Around six o'clock, Jennifer's phone goes off. It's the hospital. They're wondering where she is. Thirteen minutes later, according to Alex's watch, he and his mom are back at the hospital. She's rather sheepish when she goes back to bed. Alex stays withher  
for few minute, though technically visiting's hour is over. They small talk a bit while the doctors and nurses check on her wound and her other vitals, being rather annoyed that the checked out too early.

"I'll come and pick you up tomorrow," Alex promises. "I'm out of school early tomorrow."

"You are? Why? I thought you'd have practice?"

"I… No."

Jennifer's forehead wrinkle up in confusion.

"Mom, I quit the team. After…everything happened, I just quit. And yeah, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to know. I thought that if you knew, you'd wanted me to sign up for something else or, preferably, go back. But I can't, I won't do it.  
/Besides, I'm out of practice after so many weeks, and…"

"Alex, Alex, stop. It's fine. Really, I'm okay with that. Honey, I would never force you to go and do something you wouldn't like. If you're done with lacrosse, then you're done, and that's cool. Why did you think I'd force you to sign up again?"

Alex moves around in the chair. He suddenly feels how hard the chair actually is.

"Well… I don't really know. Just that I know you were proud of me when I played, and it's good to stay healthy. And yeah, you went to college on a scholarship because you were doing sports. So I figured, you know."

He looks sad and avoids meeting his mother's eyes. Jennifer sticks out her hand and touches his hands, which are folded hard together.

"Hey," she says softly. "It's okay. I'm not mad. I ain't going to be mad either. You hear me?"

Alex looks carefully up.

"Yeah."

He smiles.

"See you tomorrow."

"You too. And if the house isn't clean when I come back home, we're going to have a major problem. Understood?"

He chuckles, standing up.

"Understood, agent. Stay safe."


	10. Chapter 8

**A year later**

"This day will be milestone for all of you. After 13 years of school, you are now ready for the next step. If that includes working, going to college or maybe traveling, remember to call home once in a while and check on your old folks. They are the ones we all should say thank you to. Without them, you would not have been standing here, ready to graduate."

The principal continues to talk, using lots of body languages and other rhetorical devices. Half of the ocean of parent are listening, the other half are filming and they don't get a word of Mrs. Adams are saying.

Alex and the rest of his classmate are lining up, ready to receive their high school diploma, but first: speeches. After Mrs. Adams is done, the class president will be having a speech, followed by the valedictorian who will have his or her speech. Frankly, Alex has no clue who's this year's valedictorian. Hopefully it's McGregor, seeing he spent all Saturday nights studying.

Then, finally, the names are called out. There are almost fifty students in this year's seniors. Therefore the Mrs. Adams asked that no one where to clap before all the diplomas were handed out. Of course no one listened to her.

"Alexander Jareau!"

Alex's pulse rushes sky high as he walks the three steps on the podium. He hears people cheering and clapping. Someone's whistling. He knows, without looking, who are cheering: his mother, his aunt and her wife, Derek, Spencer, Aaron with his family, Emily with her family, Omar's parents, Matt's parents, and, most likely, a few others that know him from his years on the Lacrosse team.

"Congratulations, Mr. Jareau," Mrs. Adams says with pride while shaking hands with him.

"Thank you, ma'am," he replies with a huge grin on his face.

He did it.

He has finished high school.

* * *

Hey people!  
Now, I'm thinking this story is done. My cousin and I don't have any more ideas, and we thought that we should continue on the other story that we have on hold for now.

Thank you all, Warriors!


End file.
